Torn

If you could see the pimples on my face right now you would know that it a) means it’s that time of the month or b) Meg’s stressed.  It’s not a) so that leaves b).  I know I’ve mentioned that I have a lot of personal things going on that I haven’t been able to share with everyone.  To be honest I hate that I can’t share it with you because, well too many of my IRL people read this thing, I think anyways.  This is the reason that my mind hasn’t been able to get any thoughts out and hence my disappearance from this place. 

What I will say is someone I know very close to me is making the biggest mistake of their lives and they are in complete denial over the entire situation.  Every person on the outside sees it except the person.  I’m torn between just sucking it up and supporting them or just coming out and saying exactly how I feel.  But that second option could completely ruin our entire relationship but at the same time I feel wrong just sitting back and doing nothing.  I don’t want it to be about me and I feel like that’s how it comes across but it’s not.  This person means so much to me and I know that it really is all being rushed and they aren’t taking time to see the entire picture.  Do I just sit back and just let it all happen?  I can foresee me being an emotional basket case by supporting this and just making the entire situation worse. 

I'm torn. I'm torn because I don't know what the right and the wrong thing are here.  I'm torn because I don't want to hurt this person and I'm torn because I don't want to sit back and do nothing.  I'm being pulled in every which direction and I can't make out my jumbled thoughts with a clear mind.  

My family has been through a lot and we are constantly tested.  No matter what though, we get through it and become stronger as a family.  I feel as though my only option is to be there for this person because in the long run I might just regret not being there for them.  And as much as I just want to scream at the top of my lungs and tell them “YOU ARE GOING TO RUIN YOUR LIFE,” it’s not my life to ruin and it’s not my mistake to make.  This person means a lot to me and I hope that they know all I want is nothing but the best and happiness for them.   I know this is all vague and I’m really just trying to get my thoughts out because it’s been eating me alive. 

To end this whole vague and unclear rant, where you have no idea what the hell I’m talking about, I’m thankful for having such a great support system.  I’m thankful for my amazing boyfriend who constantly listens to me sob and punch the air to get my frustrations out, for my friends both old and new who let me vent, give me some great advice and make me laugh,  I’m thankful for my family and no matter what we will be stronger than ever and lastly I'm thankful for my pups for always knowing when I need a good snuggle.  It is these people that help keep me going when life gets hard and complicated.  I love each and every one of you.