Thursday, March 13, 2014


Life hasn’t slowed down any but that’s okay.  Although, I didn’t go into work yesterday due to the fact that we got about 8 inches of snow and sleet.  I spent half the morning trying and debating if it was worth it to go in so it was sort of a wasted day.  Then I spent the rest of the day with a headache watching Girls.  This is when commuting an hour really is an epic fail.  I did try though, I swear, twice for that matter.

Moving on, what I wanted to talk about today is friendships.   This all kind of got stirring in my head this weekend when my boyfriend was recovering from his surgery.   On Saturday night his friends drove down from Detroit, Indianapolis and Fort Wayne, which range from and hour to three hours away.   Prior to coming to our house they put together a get well basket.   At around 7:30 they all arrived bearing gifts and dinner for us.  It was really the sweetest thing and I actually had some tears pouring down my cheek because it was one of the ultimate gestures.  He has a fucking amazing group of friends. Here are some snapshots from the weekend.  We even got into this fun came called Heads Up, created by the one and only Ellen.  She is seriously the

And I won’t lie I’m so glad that his friends have become my friends but I couldn’t help but be a little jealous.  I do have one amazing girlfriend, Lindsay here in Indiana, that I actually met through Phil’s group of friends. She lives like 2 minutes from me and she truly is a great friend.  I’m not saying my friends from home wouldn’t do this for me but it did somewhat cross my mind if they would.   Do I have good friends?  Am I a good friend?  It makes it hard that my friends are all spread out.  I’m in Indiana, my sister lives in NYC, my best friend Kristen lives in DC, my best friend Tori lives in Boston and my other really good friend lives in upstate NY.  It makes it extremely hard to see one another let alone throw them a surprise party or make a trip to see them when they are injured or really sick.  It sucks not being able to drive over after a crappy day to drink wine and watch trash tv with them. 

Had to add in a Friends gif.

Not one of my friends has ever been out to visit me in the almost 3 years that I have been here.  Does it make me sad.  Yea it makes me real fucking sad.  But at the same time I get it.  It expensive to fly and it’s a really long ass drive.  Not to mention we are all broke bitches.  I’m lucky if I make it home once a year.  We try to get together during the holidays but sometimes it doesn’t work out.  I was supposed to make it to DC to visit Kristen for a fun birthday weekend in April but after looking over my finances it just wasn’t in the cards.  Had it been a year a half ago I would have winged it and said whatever I’ll figure it out later.  But I actually made the responsible decision that it just would be a financially stupid.   Eww, am I actually becoming an adult?  I mean I made a Garden board on Pinterest....Who am I? But it actually hurts me that I can’t go.  I feel like a god awful friend because it’s like I’m not making any effort.

I guess what I am trying to get at is I want to be one of those fucking really good friends. But how when all your friends are spread across the county?  Maybe I could send some fun care packages?  Any thoughts/ ideas on this?   I admit I am not the perfect friend all the time and there is always room for improvement.   At the same time it would be nice to have that in return right?  I often feel like sometimes my friends forget about me.  I am almost always the one that calls them.   I understand sometimes life gets in the way and before you know it, it’s been 3 weeks or even longer since you have talked to them.  Maybe I am having a harder time with this because I have had a difficult time meeting a group of girlfriends out here. Thank the heavens for my girl Lindsay or I might actually have gone crazy.  But no matter what I would do anything for each and everyone of my friends because I love them with all my heart.

Gosh meeting friends after college is harder than finding your one true soul mate if you believe in that sort of stuff.  The most typical place to meet people is at work.  And I have met a few ladies that I hang out with here and there but they have never really progressed to the whole best friend status.  It didn't help when I moved an hour and half away to a smaller town. So yes, this makes me miss my friends from childhood and college that much more.  

Childhood friends, college friends and new friends it's important to have these people in your life.  They are a major part of you and even your health for that matter.  The right friends know you better than you actually know yourself, they pick you up when you are down, push you to be better, just generally make you happy, they're honest and loyal, they let you talk their ear off when you just need to vent and they bring out the fun side of yourself. Friendship really is one of the best things to experience and to have.  Hold onto those good friends and don't be afraid to make new ones.  As they say in Toy Story, "You've got a friend in me."


  1. Oh my gosh I feel you so much on this post. Whether friends are across the country (or, for me, across an ocean) it is hard to keep close. Like you, I feel like I'm always the one to call/text (and often, friends may forget to respond at all). I've learned that with some friends, they are just terrible at responding (and we have to accept unfortunately, but luckily when you get together with these people its like nothing has changed!) Here in Sweden I've really only made ONE good friend, and a bunch of acquaintances. As far as keeping in touch with friends from home, I've started sending cards to them (packages are way too expensive with shipping- even sending a card overseas is $4!) and then whenever something big happens in their life, making sure to acknowledge it. If possible, I have Skype wine dates with my girls too (meaning I stay up way past my bedtime over here!) You'll settle in soon, and hopefully Lindsay can introduce you to some more great gals!

  2. You aren't alone. I recently moved away from all my friends and it sucks because they are all still together, so I just kind of feel like I'm on an island by myself :) Care packages and cards in the mail go a long way because who doesn't like getting mail. One thing we all did when we were in college across the country is shop for cheap vacations and take a vacation together each year. We try to still do that and even if you have to skip a year, it's fun to look forward to it. And sometimes, even if it isn't the smartest financial thing to do, do it anyways :)

  3. I can totally relate. It can be so difficult to keep in touch, especially when you go from seeing one another almost every day and living within minutes of one another, to different cities or continents! Sometimes I feel like I never hear from them and they must have forgotten about me, but I figure they probably feel the same way. I'm lucky enough to have a few friends where we can always pick up from where we left off, regardless of the last time that we talked. I've sent little care packages before and once was lucky enough to go visit overseas. I try to make a habit of sending a quick text whenever something makes me think of them!

  4. I propose a blate between the 2 of us when it warms up! I'll be your friend, dammit! :D I live about 45 minutes north of Detroit.

  5. having all the besties be out of state is hard and i totally relate. hopefully you all get to meet up soon!

  6. This reminds me of the song, "You Find Out Who Your Friends Are." In my suckiest situations, I really knew who my friends are by who showed up...who supported me...who cheered me on. When the going gets tough...the good ones show up!

  7. Finding friends after college is SO HARD! I've written about it on my blog too. Luckily one of my previous friendships has really blossomed into the greatest friendship I have ever had. My old high school best friend fell off the face of the earth. Ironically the last time I saw her in person was the day I was her Matron of Honor for her wedding...1 1/2 years ago. We've chatted on the phone a few times (she moved only like 2 hours away) and some fb chat but honestly I got sick of making all the effort. I gave up. That's not the type of friend I want to have. And once you find one of those really great friends, it just makes you realize how much the other relationships lacked!

  8. I can completely relate. Its so hard to find and keep good friends, especially once you get older. After moving back to California I found that everyone I was friends with before got really weird and weren't the same anymore. I have my sisters, but I still miss my friends!