Wednesday, April 9, 2014

Advice to my Future Mini-Me's

Lately, as I attempt to figure out what is is that I am supposed to do with my life or just find that job in my life where I feel fulfilled; I got to thinking about my choices in high school and college.  I didn't want this post to be about my regrets because you know what, you just can’t go back in time.  Unless somebody knows something that I don't.  Instead I want to give my future, non existent kids some advice from what I learned.  

1.  Parents are not the enemy nor are they stupid. I've been where you are, don't forget I was a kid once too.  I know a little more than you think I do.  So if you think you can get away with sneaking out, telling me you're going some place but really going to a frat part, or make some lame excuse as to why you are late for curfew, just don't even think about it.  High school is when you start experimenting, I get it.  If you are honest with me, I'm more understanding.  I promise.  Love your parents and remember that they are growing older too.  I was and am lucky to have a mom that I could/can pretty much tell her anything.  

2. Don't quit.  If you play the piano and love it, or the point guard in basketball, or you're the president of student council, stick with it.  It's good to be part of a team or a group.  Not to mention the many opportunities that can help you not only get into a good school, but also can help you financially.  Don't give up on it.

3.  Unless you knew what you want to do with your life since birth, I suggests going to college undeclared.  Get those regular classes out of the way first.  I can't tell you how many people I know, including myself switching majors a bunch of times and just wasting time and money on classes you don't need.  Take the time to meet with your school counselors, advisers as well as have the time to grow to find your passion. There really is no rush because once college is over the real world hits and its not all roses and geraniums. It's rough out there, especially for the first few years. 

4.  Go to a big college or university.  Now, if you want to go to a smaller school, by all means, fine.  Going to a school with a big school spirit, sports teams, and organization can give you experiences and friends you really will not have the opportunity of becoming part of at a small college.  Spending Sunday's tailgating and cheering on your football ball team while decked out in your school colors, I mean those are the times in college that you remember.  They are traditions you have with new friends you will make. 

5.  Some friends will be your friend for a life time and some friends come and go.  You will have people that let you down, friends that hurt you, friends that will stab you in the back, friends that you just grow apart from and you may even be the one to that damages a friendship.  It hurts.  It's one of those times that you just have to learn from.  Surround yourself around people that are positive, supporting and loving.  You'll eventually learn this, hopefully it's sooner rather than later.  I love the quote “You become like the 5 people you spend the most time with, choose carefully.”

6.  Enjoy yourself.  High school and college will be with you for the rest of your life.  Try new things, spend the night dancing, go to concerts and parties, and just have fun.  You will have these memories forever. 

7.  In number 6 I mentioned have fun but with that remember you have responsibilities. Work hard too.  You aren't just in school to have fun.  Learn to balance your work load with your fun-itivities.  I can't say how important it is to learn.  I hope you find your niche where you actually enjoy your classes.  This could be a stretch but hey I might as well through it out there.  Don’t just study for a test, study for your future.

8.  Be you.  This is maybe one of the most important things I want you to get from this list. Don't try to be someone you're not.  It’s so hard to get sucked into doing things because that’s what the “cool” people are doing.  But there is no need for you to change and act like somebody else.  You will find that people will like you for who you are and staying true to yourself.  It’s okay to be out of the box and quirky I mean just look at me, I’m weird and a little off the beaten path.  And if people aren’t okay with you and say hurtful things then “fuck them,” they aren’t real friends. 

9.  Start paying your college loans while you are in school.  This means you need a job.  So yea it is going to be hard juggling school work, a job, extracurricular activities and your social life.  You need to stay on top of it, you will thank me later.  The earlier you start paying the sooner you will be debt free. 

10.  Value your health.  Make good choices for your body.  Eat well, exercise and keep positive.  As I have grown I can’t express how important exercise is to me.  It’s a way for me to feel good, look good, let out the stress from the day, the opportunity to challenge my body and even has introduced me to knew people. Negativity doesn't get you far either, remember that, see the good in things and look at it from another perspective.  

11.  Girls:  Do not waste your time with guys who do not treat you right or just treat you ordinary.  You are better than that and deserve better.  Heck you are my (future) daughter and you are freaking special.  Crying over a dude toolbag because he won’t commit to you just isn’t worth it.  He isn’t going to change so don’t think that you can try.  Move on to the next and just consider that one a guy of the past.  Just always be upfront about what it is you are looking for and let them work for it.  I’ve never been one for the whole play games thing.  If I like you I’m going to tell you so don’t worry you don’t need to read some complicated map thing to figure out if I like you or not.  Boys:  Treat ladies with respect and be a gentlemen.  Be the kind of guy your little brother or sister can look up to.  Open the doors, kiss on the first date but leave it at that, take her out on mini-golf dates, leave cute stick-it notes and most importantly stay true to your values and beliefs. 

12.  Take advantage of every opportunity that is presented to you.  Study abroad, go on a service trip, or be a foreign exchange student!   Don’t be afraid to leave because you feel like you might miss out on something or will miss your friends.  I can promise you the experience of studying in another country will be one of your fondest memories.  The people you meet, the connections you will make and the places you will see will be life changing.  Even if you have the opportunity to live abroad or go on spring break trips do it.  I mean seriously your 20’s are the best times for this.  Don’t wait for later, live for now.  

What advice did you give your kids or want to give based on your own experiences?


  1. I totally agree that people come in and out of your life during different times and sometimes you outgrow friendships and sometimes they last forever and that is ok! love this list

  2. I love this list! I thought my parents were the most unfair, controlling people in the whole world when I was in high school and now I find myself agreeing with them when my siblings are in trouble! It's been the craziest thing I've come to realize, I think!

  3. Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh 11. Probably one of the biggest things I learned the HARD way.

  4. All great advice. I love that quote too. My youth pastor when I was young used to tell us "show me your friends and I'll show you your future!"

  5. Really love this post, in fact I may steal the idea ;) Love your blog!
    your newest follower Kala@

  6. Cute post ! I love this inspirational advice to your future children. Such great wisdom! So glad I found your blog!